1 week down

It's Mother's Day and we've been back in CT for about a week. The first few days I felt a tad disoriented and thought often of people who go away for military service or out into space, and return a while later to pick up where they left off. It reminded me of when I spent my college junior year in France and returned to New Jersey (Rutgers). When we left on Feb. 1, there was snow on the ground, we hadn't had time to take down all our Christmas/winter decorations (they went up late since my Ironman Cozumel trip went into December), and I had been on the brink of giving away our tremendously high maintenance puppy. When we returned, it was to a beautiful green landscape, shorts & tanks, Penny had somehow matured into a much calmer dog that could actually walk by one of Willo's toy dinosaurs without mistaking it for a chew toy. The Christmas decorations were still up.

We got back Friday evening and Saturday the kids had an audition, Sunday we had our kick-off ultimate frisbee game, Monday I had a photo shoot lined up, and another on Tuesday. The kids had medical and dental appointments, but they didn't start school until Tuesday/Wednesday since they weren't allowed back in until the pediatrician had filled out the Blue Form, ascertaining their status as healthy, vaccinated, TB-negative kids. All those actions I normally perform without thinking - unloading the dishwasher, putting away Jackie's clean socks, shifting from Park to Drive - now required a few seconds of conscious thought. Where do the mugs go? Gear thingy is on the steering wheel, not between the seats. Oh shoot, that's the panties drawer. Reminded me of the joke of "why didn't the blonde get a coffee break? Because she'd have to be retrained afterwards."

I was very sad to leave Vieques - its rustic beauty will forever be imprinted upon my hard drive (8,000 photos!) and my heart; most of all, the relationships I forged there were the kind that will be impossible to replicate. It took me 6 years in CT to develop what I consider "true friends" and yet, I consider my Vieques friends, some of whom I only knew for a few days, to be in that category. Vieques tends to draw people who are adventurous, nonconformist, curious, active, drawn to the "road less traveled." Free from the obligations of kids' extra curricular insanity I mean activities, a gym schedule, duties such as errands - getting together was a frequent, frequently spontaneous happening. In CT, if I want to see a friend, we both have to look at our calendars and after awhile decide "in 3 weeks I have a window between 1-1:25 pm, I'll pencil you in." I'm as guilty of it as the next person. In fact, by Monday my calendar started piling up as photo shoot requests started coming in, and I'm gearing up for the new Achieve Triathlon Camp for kids, for which I'll be the head coach this summer.

My life here is decidedly more isolated than it was in VQS. There, people often just popped in, either because they were in the area, or they wanted to do laundry, or ask me to take care of their dog, or have a beer while watching the puppies frolic... Here, we all keep to ourselves, which I honestly don't mind. Most of my work takes place at my desk on the computer, as I work on post-shoot stuff, as I write, research, etc. I love being alone. But I also loved the surprise visits in VQS, and I miss that. Of course, if you're going to surprise me here, the house is bigger so please don't judge me if my laundry is in a pile or there's some similar mess.

For Mother's Day the kids gave me these incredible pieces of pottery they had made in VQS. One of my favorite people in the world, Sarah Cook, is an incredible potter (I know she's going to be famous) and our last week there, she took the kids from me to make "surprise" gifts for me. They each made a bowl (unfortunately Willo's exploded in the kiln) and a plate, using local plants, with their handprint in the middle. Just awesome. Bill made me my favorite breakfast (Eggs Benedict) and gave me 2 books. Here's an excerpt from one of them:

"In our mothers' day there were good mothers, indifferent mothers, and occasionally, great mothers. Today we have only Bad Mothers: if you work, you're neglectful; if you stay home, you're smothering. If you discipline, you're buying them a spot on the shrink's couch; if you let them run wild, they will be into drugs by 7th grade. Is it any wonder so many women refer to themselves at one time or another as a 'bad mother'?"

- Ayelet Waldman, "Bad Mother"

Newsweek describes the book as "hilarious, heartbreaking, and edgy." I can't wait to read it.

The other book is a compilation of essays by some the best triathletes in the world, with my idol, Natascha Badmann, on the cover. As I return to my life as Tri Mom, and the challenge of negotiating a life of mothering, wifing, training & working, this book should help inspire me.

Speaking of triathlons, today I taught Willo to ride a bike without training wheels. Willo is already 6.5, so it's about time he get with the program. Last year he was too chicken - I let go of him, he went a ways without falling, and when he realized I'd let go he fell and never wanted to go without training wheels again. Today I told him, if you ride your bike today I'll buy you a new bike next weekend. He climbed on the bike, I gave him a push, and off he went. And that was that. I laughed, shaking my head, thinking back to when Jackie started to walk finally at 20 months (she'd been potty trained by 18), and how Willo doesn't want to work on reading. I was thinking about how with my kids, when they decide they want to do something they just do it with no fanfare and never look back. And then I thought, well, that's what we're all like. It's all about a decision, right? You want to quit smoking? Get in shape? Learn a new language? Become more spiritual? Get the right job? It's not a matter of character. It's a matter of making The Decision.

When Willo decides he's sick of not knowing how to read, that'll be the day he starts chapter books. I have a feeling it's right around the corner.

OK, off to play some ultimate frisbee :)

treasures in your back yard

This is me & Randall Williams, who was at the W a week ago with a few other Food Network celebrities. (He's with Dinner: Impossible). I haven't seen the show (you know I'd rather read - or blog - or live - than watch TV) but I gather it's pretty popular. Anyway I had the gall to challenge him to a game of pool and before you know it we're tied, and I'm agreeing to a 6:30am run.

The run ended up being a walk and while we're chatting and I'm telling him about the TV show idea I've had for the last couple of years, what did he think, I see a big black bird of some sort spreading its wings and doing some dance and I go, "is that a bat???" Randall pointed out that actually it was a black bird of some sort and it was doing a mating dance, and sure enough, the female was watching it all, beak up in the air in disgust, playing hard to get. I remarked how I would never have noticed it had I been running (instead of walking), and in fact I wouldn't have thought about it at all beyond "oh, that's not a bat, it's a black bird" and kept on walking or running. However, Randall just makes you think about stuff you may have otherwise overlooked. As proof, we started talking about the terrible state of education in Vieques. I had met with a local official the previous day, who'd informed me that of the 8 schools here, 4 don't have a principal, there is no superintendent here, and certainly no substitute teachers (which I already knew). Randall said he'd stopped at a school while touring the island, and while impressed with the uniforms and the school buses, had felt something was missing. My surface analysis of the situation, he said, explained the feeling he'd had. Surprised, I asked him why he'd ventured into a school? He replied he doesn't just like to visit beaches in places like this - after all, beautiful beaches are beautiful beaches; he likes to dig below the surface and see what the average tourist doesn't bother to examine. As we talked further, specifically about the TV show idea I have, we got into talking about how often we assume we have to travel to find something interesting or fulfilling - while it may have been in front of us the whole time.

This is where I segue into our visit to Don Quique's place the previous weekend. DQ has worked at the W for a while, and when the kids and I met him last year, he had invited us to his house to "see chickens and a few other animals." He kept asking Bill now that we're back, and we kept blowing him off. Finally, the Sunday of the Masters, I obliged, if for no other reason than to give Bill some quiet time with his beer & TV. We followed DQ to his house about 5 minutes away and ended up having one of the most enjoyable, fascinating afternoons to date. DQ and his wife have managed to grow myriad fruits, vegetables, flowers, and yes, chickens, and their backyard was more interesting than any botanical garden I've been to in the US. Once we got past their 22 year old dog (yes, 22! and doesn't have eyes!) we got a detailed, loving description of how the various flora grow. When I later met Randall, I thought of DQ and this unexpectedly wonderful afternoon, and how we do indeed sit upon treasures and are usually too blind to appreciate them.

"Linda" - 22 yrs old

unripe mangos

pineapples take a year to mature!

aloe

Cashews come from this. The cashew itself here must be roasted; if you open it, it contains an acid that burns you. No wonder the nut is so expensive!

W view

Vieques Cultural Festival - Olive at her booksigning

The kids' educational center, Oasis, performed

Reciting African poetry

Dancing La Bomba, a dance inherited from African slaves

Jackie performed in a skit. She played a slaveowner.

Jackie's hanging out with her BFF, a fellow slaveowner. The slave has had a baby and Jackie tells her BFF she's welcome to have the slave's baby.

Hanging at the W

Pablo and his famous Passion (passion fruit margarita)

Gracie & her pollito

BLACK SAND BEACH

Sarah Cook, about to become a famous potter (her work is now sold at the W!!)

Hiking to Black Sand Beach (resting on a tree root)

Black Sand Beach was another unexpected gem. Sarah had suggested going there and I had no idea we were about to embark on a beautiful, interesting hike and end up in a magical place, where we'd be the only ones on the beach. The black sand was striking but I think I mostly appreciated the cliffs and the rock formations which were unlike any I'd seen on other beaches in Vieques.

A land crab trap

the girls built a volcano

starfish at Mosquito Pier