1 week down

It's Mother's Day and we've been back in CT for about a week. The first few days I felt a tad disoriented and thought often of people who go away for military service or out into space, and return a while later to pick up where they left off. It reminded me of when I spent my college junior year in France and returned to New Jersey (Rutgers). When we left on Feb. 1, there was snow on the ground, we hadn't had time to take down all our Christmas/winter decorations (they went up late since my Ironman Cozumel trip went into December), and I had been on the brink of giving away our tremendously high maintenance puppy. When we returned, it was to a beautiful green landscape, shorts & tanks, Penny had somehow matured into a much calmer dog that could actually walk by one of Willo's toy dinosaurs without mistaking it for a chew toy. The Christmas decorations were still up.

We got back Friday evening and Saturday the kids had an audition, Sunday we had our kick-off ultimate frisbee game, Monday I had a photo shoot lined up, and another on Tuesday. The kids had medical and dental appointments, but they didn't start school until Tuesday/Wednesday since they weren't allowed back in until the pediatrician had filled out the Blue Form, ascertaining their status as healthy, vaccinated, TB-negative kids. All those actions I normally perform without thinking - unloading the dishwasher, putting away Jackie's clean socks, shifting from Park to Drive - now required a few seconds of conscious thought. Where do the mugs go? Gear thingy is on the steering wheel, not between the seats. Oh shoot, that's the panties drawer. Reminded me of the joke of "why didn't the blonde get a coffee break? Because she'd have to be retrained afterwards."

I was very sad to leave Vieques - its rustic beauty will forever be imprinted upon my hard drive (8,000 photos!) and my heart; most of all, the relationships I forged there were the kind that will be impossible to replicate. It took me 6 years in CT to develop what I consider "true friends" and yet, I consider my Vieques friends, some of whom I only knew for a few days, to be in that category. Vieques tends to draw people who are adventurous, nonconformist, curious, active, drawn to the "road less traveled." Free from the obligations of kids' extra curricular insanity I mean activities, a gym schedule, duties such as errands - getting together was a frequent, frequently spontaneous happening. In CT, if I want to see a friend, we both have to look at our calendars and after awhile decide "in 3 weeks I have a window between 1-1:25 pm, I'll pencil you in." I'm as guilty of it as the next person. In fact, by Monday my calendar started piling up as photo shoot requests started coming in, and I'm gearing up for the new Achieve Triathlon Camp for kids, for which I'll be the head coach this summer.

My life here is decidedly more isolated than it was in VQS. There, people often just popped in, either because they were in the area, or they wanted to do laundry, or ask me to take care of their dog, or have a beer while watching the puppies frolic... Here, we all keep to ourselves, which I honestly don't mind. Most of my work takes place at my desk on the computer, as I work on post-shoot stuff, as I write, research, etc. I love being alone. But I also loved the surprise visits in VQS, and I miss that. Of course, if you're going to surprise me here, the house is bigger so please don't judge me if my laundry is in a pile or there's some similar mess.

For Mother's Day the kids gave me these incredible pieces of pottery they had made in VQS. One of my favorite people in the world, Sarah Cook, is an incredible potter (I know she's going to be famous) and our last week there, she took the kids from me to make "surprise" gifts for me. They each made a bowl (unfortunately Willo's exploded in the kiln) and a plate, using local plants, with their handprint in the middle. Just awesome. Bill made me my favorite breakfast (Eggs Benedict) and gave me 2 books. Here's an excerpt from one of them:

"In our mothers' day there were good mothers, indifferent mothers, and occasionally, great mothers. Today we have only Bad Mothers: if you work, you're neglectful; if you stay home, you're smothering. If you discipline, you're buying them a spot on the shrink's couch; if you let them run wild, they will be into drugs by 7th grade. Is it any wonder so many women refer to themselves at one time or another as a 'bad mother'?"

- Ayelet Waldman, "Bad Mother"

Newsweek describes the book as "hilarious, heartbreaking, and edgy." I can't wait to read it.

The other book is a compilation of essays by some the best triathletes in the world, with my idol, Natascha Badmann, on the cover. As I return to my life as Tri Mom, and the challenge of negotiating a life of mothering, wifing, training & working, this book should help inspire me.

Speaking of triathlons, today I taught Willo to ride a bike without training wheels. Willo is already 6.5, so it's about time he get with the program. Last year he was too chicken - I let go of him, he went a ways without falling, and when he realized I'd let go he fell and never wanted to go without training wheels again. Today I told him, if you ride your bike today I'll buy you a new bike next weekend. He climbed on the bike, I gave him a push, and off he went. And that was that. I laughed, shaking my head, thinking back to when Jackie started to walk finally at 20 months (she'd been potty trained by 18), and how Willo doesn't want to work on reading. I was thinking about how with my kids, when they decide they want to do something they just do it with no fanfare and never look back. And then I thought, well, that's what we're all like. It's all about a decision, right? You want to quit smoking? Get in shape? Learn a new language? Become more spiritual? Get the right job? It's not a matter of character. It's a matter of making The Decision.

When Willo decides he's sick of not knowing how to read, that'll be the day he starts chapter books. I have a feeling it's right around the corner.

OK, off to play some ultimate frisbee :)