Triathlon/Ironman FAQ's

During the course of my training for this past Ironman Cozumel (my 2nd Ironman) and after my successful completion of the race, many people have asked me all kinds of questions.  So I decided to answer them here.

1. How the HELL do you find time to train?

If you are training for a sprint triathlon, depending on how fit you are going into it, how comfortable you are with each of the 3 sports, and what your performance expectations are on race day, it isn't a huge time commitment.  You can train for 4 hours/week if you already know a stroke beyond doggie paddle, and you're not out to set a course record (on the fast side).

2.  But for an Ironman - isn't that a HUGE time commitment?

I won't kid you - it is.  Which is why for each of my Ironman races, which were held on Thanksgiving weekend, I only dedicated 10.5 weeks to race preparation.  During those weeks, I am averaging 20-24 hours of training per week.  During that time, I am getting up way before dawn to either work or to train.  My husband is doing much more round the house and with the kids than he normally does (a great side benefit!).  My extended family will start sending hate emails because of my lack of communication.  My friends have to track me on Facebook to know my whereabouts, which I can easily update from my iPhone while at a stoplight or waiting for the kids' bus.  Television?  Yeah right.  Housekeeping? Outsourced/lax.

3. How does a busy parent, or even more so, a working parent, train for an Ironman?

The average triathlete earns $162,000/year and during a 4-hour training ride last month I realized why this is. In order to be able to train for an Ironman, you need to either be self-employed (so you can have the schedule flexibility) or have a spouse who does very well, so you don't need to be the main breadwinner, and you can instead train (and hire a housekeeper).

That being said, if you are not out to finish an Ironman in 11 hours or less, you can still train for one if the above doesn't apply to you.  But like with any major goal, you will need to prioritize and sacrifice.  Forget the reality TV shows, the happy hours, the sideline gossip sessions while your kids play or train.  Every minute counts - so make it count.

TYPICAL NIGHT

4. I don't like to (or know how to) swim/bike/run...

Normally when you don't like to do one of the above it's because of fear.  Or a previous negative experience.  Or the wrong approach.  In other words, it's all in your head.  If you don't know how to swim, sign up for a class.  If you don't feel comfortable swimming, or it's too hard, ask an experienced swimmer to coach you for a session or two.  It's usually a matter of getting comfortable with the breathing part.  Once you get the breathing and you start to relax in the water, it will flow.  (If you had a seriously bad experience like you were on the Disney cruise and Goofy turned round suddenly and knocked you overboard and you've never gotten over that, you may need more intervention but it still gets back to just getting comfortable in the water, with the right instruction).

For biking, again, find a mentor or go to the local bike shop and find out about group rides (or come to one of mine).  It can certainly be intimidating to think about riding along roads riddled with potholes, squirrels, zoned-out minivan moms and texting teens.  Riding with company takes off a lot of the angst.

If you have any discomfort when running, it may be you need new shoes, or your stride is unnatural, or the muscles supporting your knees are weak.  Talk to me, or your local coach about this for guidance.  Get the book Born to Run.

5. I'm a runner and have done some 10ks and half marathons, maybe even a marathon or two (or maybe just 5k's) and am thinking about finding out what all the hype is about re: triathlons.  But I'm a little overwhelmed!

Awesome!!  That's how I started - I was looking for a way to cross train, to prevent injuries but also because I didn't aspire to being a skinny ninny runner.  Triathletes seemed to have healthier all-around bodies.

Thinking of the multisport experience in terms of all the gear and the training (I need a bike!  Where can I swim?!) can be overwhelming.  So let's break it down.  Unless the triathlon is in 2 months, you have some time.  So that brings it to step one... Find a local triathlon.  You'll probably want to start off small, with a sprint (.5 mile swim, 10-15 mile bike, 3.1 mile run).  Sign up - many sell out!

Next - if you don't have a bike, start making spinning part of your workout regimen.  Find out if there's a local triathlon club (such as the YMCA Tri Club).  Contact them and ask if there is anyone willing to answer your questions and mentor you.  Ask if they can recommend a bike shop.  Start looking at bikes and check into last year's models (road bikes).  Go from there.

When looking for a place to swim, here are some considerations:  what are the lap swim hours?  Are these feasible for you?  Is there childcare available?  Masters swim classes?  Will you have to wait for lanes?  How convenient is the location for you?  Is the pool located somewhere that you can on some days hop out of the pool and onto a bike or treadmill for a brick (back-to-back workout eg swim-to-run or bike-to-run)?

6. Tell me the truth - what are the costs of being a triathlete?


Excellent question.  Like with any pursuit, there are sacrifices, or costs.  In several areas.  And it all depends on your level of competition and commitment but in general:

• FINANCIAL:  buy a bike; maintain a bike; upgrade a bike; ship or pack a bike.  Gym/pool membership.  Coaching.  Triathlon club.  Race registration fees.  Travel expenses.  Babysitters.  Healthy food.  Supplements.  New running shoes every 500 miles.  Heart Rate monitor.  Smartphone applications to track workouts.  Wetsuit.  Bike shorts, long tights, bike jersies (sleeveless, short sleeves, long sleeve).  Bike gloves.  Bike accessories.  Bike shoes for clipless pedals.  Helmet.  Bike computer.  Windbreaker.  Sunglasses.  Goggles.  Swimsuits.  Chiropractor. Massage.  New jeans because you're skinnier.  Sweatproof sunscreen.  USA Triathlon membership.  iTunes music.  mp3 player.  Waterproof mp3 player.  Housekeeper.  

• TIME:  commuting to pool; planning the week around workouts; logging your workouts; washing all the workout clothes (sometimes 2-3 outfits in one day, with Ironman training); maintaining bike; researching races and triathlon stuff online; commuting to classes or group workouts; ordering stuff online; concocting special smoothies with protein & greens; arranging group workouts

• RELATIONSHIPS: when training for a major race, whether it's your first sprint, or an Ironman, you will undergo a transformation that will affect your relationships with those closest to you.  Your spouse and kids will go through an adjustment period especially if you were typically the main caretaker and therefore in many ways at their beck and call.  It is important to talk to your spouse about how important this is for you, and how your happiness and good health are ultimately very much crucial to your family's happiness and health.  (At this point it is completely appropriate and very wise to dangle a carrot, such as a race in a fabulous destination - and they're invited - or a promise of pumpkin pancakes in bed every Saturday morning).  Most people don't like change and they especially don't like it if it wasn't their idea and decision.  But as long as you ease them into it, make them feel to some extent like participants in the decision making, and show them all the benefits to them - it should go more smoothly.   As far as friendships go, you will start to become friendly with like-minded people who are typically fitness conscious, motivated, optimistic.  You may see less of some of your other friends but hopefully they will decide to follow your example and start going for runs or rides with you.  If anyone tells you that you're crazy to do this, or they in any way try to discourage you, just remember, they're throwing their own insecurities, hang ups and mental junk on you.  Ignore it and listen to that inner voice that's saying, if she thinks I'm crazy then I must be doing something right.

7. I can't imagine doing an Ironman.  You must be in incredible shape/ a natural born athlete/ much more driven than me/ have much more extra time on your hands than I have/ supernatural/ f-ing insane.

I'm definitely not supernatural.  I am in great shape now but I still have some jiggly spots (I refuse to give up all culinary pleasures).  I didn't do any formal sports growing up so was far from being called a jock.  Between my photography business, my coaching, several major projects I've got in the works, 2 kids, a very energetic dog, a local ultimate frisbee league I organized a couple of years ago, a book I'm rewriting, after school programs I create & run, a passion for reading and cooking... etc... I definitely don't have more time than you.  I just choose to spend my time in certain perhaps more unusual ways.  I only get my hair cut twice/year, I never get my nails done, I only eat lunch out if it's work-related, I have no local family members to entertain, my house usually hovers between "lived-in" and disastrous (but you will eat a yummy dinner!), I don't watch TV unless it's a Tivo'd Ironman or I'm folding laundry at the same time, I only volunteer at my kids' school if it's something I will really enjoy (i.e. I refuse to be guilted into stuff).

Most triathletes don't do a full Ironman because it does take a huge level of commitment and sacrifice not only from the athlete but also his/her support crew (family/loved ones).  That being said, when I signed up for my first sprint in 2005 Ironman was nowhere on my radar.  It's funny where life takes you - if you allow it.

8. What was the hardest part of your Ironman?

The mental game is the hardest.  Cozumel, for example, is 3 loops.  Three loops on the bike (112 miles total), 3 loops on the run (26.2 miles total).  It's tough knowing that after a loop you're only a third done. It's tough knowing that when I'm still on loop 3 of the bike, the winners are already finishing the marathon.  When you're in the marathon and your body starts to break down (which happens when you're someone who finishes an Ironman in 13-17 hours; 17 hours is the max, after that you're disqualified), it's tough dealing with the nausea, queasiness, aches & pains.  And that's not even taking into consideration all the environmental circumstances that may be thrown your way (wind, heat, terrain).

What kept me going at these times was:

• HUMOR: "what level of insanity have I reached that I'm doing this?? And paid $525 for it??"
• FOCUS: focus on the goals I'd set beforehand for myself - to be patient with myself, to be steady and steadfast, to race with dignity and integrity, to support my fellow athletes and acknowledge the supportive crowds and volunteers, to race with gratitude
• ACCOUNTABILITY: knowing that a lot of people were tracking me via GPS and Facebook and I didn't want to make a fool of myself!
• FAITH: in myself, in my coach, in God

9.  How did you feel afterwards?

Relieved!!  It was different this time around.  After my first Ironman I felt complete euphoria and wonder and awe - at the magnitude of what I and my fellow athletes had done.  This time I knew I could tackle such a distance, so the emotions were different.  I was really happy to have my family to watch me this time (last time it was only Bill, this time it was Bill, the kids, my sister and her family, my dad & stepmom).  Whatever was lost from it not being the same as the first time (yes, cliché), was made up for in the amazement on my family members' faces, and interacting with a few first-timers, egging them on.

Physically, I felt pretty much nothing after the race.  My rump was sore from 7.5 hours on the bike but tea tree oil took care of that pretty quickly (sorry if it's TMI!), and my lips were chapped.  But that was it.  I attribute this to solid training (thank you coach Janda!) and to my yoga routine, which is basically power yoga, pilates and meditation all in one.  Well, and the fact I didn't go balls-out the way I do in shorter races.  As Janda had said to me a few days beforehand, this was just a long, glorified training day.  And it was a great pretext for a family reunion in a beautiful location!!

10. Will you do it again?

I would love to do Ironman Cozumel IF...

• Bill (my husband) is enthusiastic about it (again) and...
• a few people will agree to go with me and make this either their first Ironman or their first international race (see my offer!)

And if I do it again, I believe I will start training much sooner so that I do better, not because of any need to set a monstrous PR (personal record), just because 14-15 hours is a looooooooong time to be exercising!

Ironmom 2010

This 41-yr-old mother of two, who was 30 lbs or so overweight in her 20s, suffered from bulimia in her teens, was nicknamed “Tortuga” (turtle) during her 2 weeks on the high school track team… just finished her second full Ironman.  The first one was the inaugural Ironman Cozumel in 2009.  This second one was… Ironman Cozumel.  I know, you’d think I’d try another venue or pick something closer to home, or at least pick a different race for the sake of variety.  Especially since both the bike & the run segments of Coz entail 3 loops each -  so for a girl who loves variety, my choice of race may be a tad puzzling.  The reason I decided to do another Ironman, however, was mainly because of Cozumel – i.e. unlike most Ironman triathletes, I didn’t decide I wanted to subject myself to a gazillion hours of training and a day of grit & sweat, so let’s see where I should do it (Florida? Idaho? Wisconsin? Lake Placid?).  No, for me it was that I love Mexico so much, and Mexican hospitality, and the chance to pour my money and spread some empowering energy into a poor community.  Add to that the fact that my sister, so impressed with my first IM finish, decided that she and her family would travel from Denmark to witness me do it again, and my dad said the same (from Myrtle Beach).  We hadn’t all been in Mexico together in about 20 years (we lived in Mexico City for 10 years as kids), so this was a great idea for a family reunion.

Once again we eschewed the local hotels and instead rented a house from an American couple I was referred to by some Facebook friends who found me online after spectating last year’s IM and being so struck by it they decided to come down and watch it every year (and friended me on Facebook).  We got here on Thursday evening, 3 days before the race, (Thanksgiving), just enough time to get settled,  have Bill reassemble my bike and get my registration packet on Friday, rack my bike on Saturday, do a few shakeout workouts, and figure out to some extent a spectator plan for my posse.  I was really glad we again planned it this way – not coming too far ahead of the race, and staying for several days afterward.  As far as I’m concerned, coming several days early like most competitors do is a bad idea.  Not only would I psyche myself out too much about the race (talking to triathletes before a race is the equivalent of giving yourself a shot of anxiety – you start thinking how ill-prepared you are, how you should’ve done/packed/thought of this, that and the other) but it’s a waste of a great opportunity to enjoy a beautiful place and all it has to offer.  Of course, if I was racing in Florida I probably would head right back afterwards – which is why I don’t race there.  Traveling to races, especially when my family is involved, must be a total experience for me; the race may be what drew me to a place, but it’s only part of the overall itinerary, which must also include sight-seeing, enjoying local cuisine & culture.  I mean, it’s not like I’m going to win anything after all, and setting a PR isn’t that important to me.  When my kids are grown up, they won’t remember that I set a 7 minute PR this time round, but they will always remember the snorkeling excursion, playing on the beach with their cousins, watching Mami getting a tattoo (it’s just henna).

Bill reassembles the bike

Anyway, race day Sunday I got up at 3:50am to down 800-900 calories (huge bowl of granola with soy milk, soy latte, toasted bagel with a teaspoon of PB, a gatorade).  I had slept surprisingly well in spite of the fact that all day Saturday I was feeling a little anxious.  I remember last year being more excited about it, now I just wanted to get it over with.  I was disappointed for feeling this way and figured at least part of it was the fact that now I had a 9-person fan club who’d traveled from across the world, plus all kinds of people were going to track me online, and I now had more locals rooting for me.  So the expectations were higher.  A few people said “relax – you did it last year, you know you can do it” – but in a way that can add to the stress because you can also twist it to, “I did it last year – so I better do it again this year, and do it better.”  It didn’t help when half way through dinner the house ran out of water (and I was really looking forward to an evening shower).  And then my youngest niece at 9pm accidentally locked the bathroom door, with nobody in the bathroom except all my morning race gear.  The entire house went into a frenzy of trying to figure out how to open the door and I went to bed with a book. About 45 minutes later Bill busted the lock.

Nevertheless, when I woke up I felt completely rested and relaxed.  A feeling of peace had washed over me – must be all my friends’ prayers back home, plus the half hour of meditation I had done the night before.  At 5am we all piled into the van & headed to the start.  We scored rock star parking, and soon I was handing off my Bike and Run Special Needs bags (TISSUES – wasn’t going to run out of TP this time round!! – wet wipes, sunscreen, gu) which were taken on buses to 2 spots on the bike & run courses, should I have special needs – which I didn’t as it turns out.  Over to my bike, placed the 3 bottles I’d filled with water, carbo pro (4 scoops/bottle) & ¼ teaspoon of salt – I was to drink a third of the bottle each hour.  Make sure the 8 gu’s I’d taped to the bike were still there (1/hour).  Touched the tires, yup, they’ve got air, and attached my athlete tracker gizmo Bill had rented for me back in CT, so they could easily follow me on the laptop and plan their appearances along the course.  The tracker was on a race belt, where I’d attached my race number, so I turned on the device and wrapped it round the bike bar (you weren’t supposed to leave anything around the bike but it was ok to leave something on it).

 Racking bike in transition on Saturday

 Our bike clothing bags, dropped off Saturday

 Getting body marked on Saturday

Bill is my official numbers guy (Friday night)

 Headed over to the changing tent when I heard the women’s tent had a row of portapotties & no line, and unveiled my birthday present: my Wonder Woman bathing suit.

Wonder Woman & a Mexican Superhero

The suit was perfect.  It had the intended effect of putting a smile on everyone’s face.  It also had the unintended effect of getting me on everyone’s camera including what I believe to be the official race video.  I’m not a huge fan of being the center of attention but I definitely loved cracking up a bunch of nervous wrecks.  Maria, who had been my virtual friend (email & Facebook), lives in CT and was coached my Marty, my first coach – spotted me and we met for the first time, then hung out until the swim start (she swam a minute or 2 faster than me).  Steve, the new F&B manager at the W Vieques, who moved there after we’d left, and whom I’d met through Facebook, spotted me and came over.  Eventually we all made our way out on the docks, past the dolphins (awesome!!!!!!!) and jumped into the warm, clear water to tread water until the 7am start.  And then we were off!

Like last year, the swim was my favorite part.  I started out at the back of the 2,300-strong pack so didn’t have to deal too much with the usual frenzy of kicks to the face and people swimming over me, instead I focused on the fish, stingray & coral beneath me, the occasional jellyfish sting, the occasional scuba diver below who’d wave at me & take my picture, the fact I’d finally found goggles that didn’t leak, the fact my Wonder Woman suit was one size too large but who cares about the extra drag, it was a helluvalot of fun to wear.  The swim is one loop and the long stretch is mercifully down current.  I got into a groove and was so loving life that suddenly I realized that I had swum on the left side instead of the right side of a buoy, and an official was there, and didn’t make any gestures one way or the other, so she was probably noting my number and I was going to be disqualified.  Talk about jolting me out of my groove.  I considered swimming against the current and the 400 or so swimmers behind me, having a moment of panic there, thinking I could re-swim around the buoy the right way, because it would really suck if I was DQ’d for something so stupid.  But I finally decided f-it – if something so trivial was going to earn me a DQ then so be it, I was going to do this race whether or not my finish was official.

Reached the turn where the submarine is parked, headed back for the relatively short stretch home, suddenly I was swimming over Jesus.  Literally – there is a statue of Jesus in the water.  Thought, “I’m going to have to tell Marni about this!” and giggled.  Hauled myself out of the water & saw my posse right where I’d left them and high fived all 4 kids’ hands as they cheered wildly.  (1:26 – or 4 minutes slower than last year’s swim).  Headed to the women’s tent, where I toweled off, someone helped me get dressed & put sunscreen on my back, hit the portapotty & then out to the bike.  Once again saw my posse as I headed out for my little bike ride.

Having the family here was AMAZING

After all the hills, freezing temperatures, obnoxious motorists I’d survived for 2 months of training, and the glumness of the concrete walls I’d stared at during my indoor trainer sessions, I was not daunted by the 112 miles – 3 loops – ahead of me.  I repeatedly heard coach Janda, and coach Marty (my previous coach) saying, “If you can go faster on the bike – DON’T.”  As dozens of people passed me on the bike I heard my coaches saying, “A lot of those people who blow by you on the bike will regret it when they blow up on the run.”  So I stuck to my ridiculously easy pace, which given the fact that my bike computer had decided to break when Bill reassembled my bike, I could only guess to be a 80 RPM, 15 mph pace.  I kept up the same pace pretty much, while battling the brutal crosswinds on the back side of the island, and while navigating the easier stretches across the island and through town. 

Once again, the crowds were AWESOME.  Ironman Cozumel has become like a national holiday here and its participants are revered like Olympic athletes.  Everyone was out, shouting, clapping, always with that warmth and good cheer particular to Mexicans.  I think one of the reasons I love doing this crazy sport here is because it’s the closest I’ll probably ever come to feeling like a rock star!  (By the way, Ironman athletes get a 15% discount at many shops etc.!  Need to convince your shopaholic family members of why you need to compete here?)

Alright, so the bike is underway, or rather, under my increasingly sore rump.  See, I decided that I wasn’t going to stop.  I had all my nutrition taped to my bike, in my 3 bottles, handed to me as I rode by aid stations, or stuffed in my jersey pockets.  No need to stop. So basically, I rode 112 miles in 7.5 hours and only stopped twice – once to refill one of my bottles and once to beg a bystander for sunscreen (so I never actually unclipped both feet either time).  Last year I’d stopped for about a half hour to chat & shoot the breeze, but not this time.  I chatted with a couple of people but after riding with Peter Shankman, a really funny guy from NYC (founder of HARO, a social networking site) who was making this his first IM, and having such a good time with him that an official warned me to quit drafting – I only dared have a little chat with Kristen (her shirt said “For Joey” and I just had to find out what the story was – turns out her good friend Joey died a few years ago when at age 23 he suddenly out of nowhere had a heart attack and died – so she was dedicating this, her first IM, to him) and with Andres, who was great company and owns a construction company that is building 2 hospitals in Mexico City.  Truth is, I was having a very introspective race.  I was completely zoning and focused on what I was doing and why I was doing it.

Off the bike – I handed it to a volunteer after removing the tissues, to keep with me during the run – and into the tent where I removed my bike shorts, put on running shorts & shoes, doused myself with bug spray (lesson I learned last year!) and 2 volunteers helped me assemble my glow-in-the-dark necklace (Bill’s WONDERFUL suggestion – another lesson from last year - my posse had no trouble spotting me!) and pack my stuff away.  And off I went!

Legs felt GREAT.  Aerobically, energy-wise, I felt GREAT.  Started running and judging by just the feel I knew I was doing a 10-10:30 mile pace, which was my goal.  I followed coach’s orders and had Gatorade or coke at every aid station.  But then gradually I started feeling the bile building up in the back of my throat and by mile 10 I admitted to myself that I felt like puking.  At this point, I think I’d seen my family 2-3 times during the run.  They were all wearing glow-in-the-dark bracelets, making a LOT of noise (my very loud 6-yr-old son William is perfect for these occasions).  They had really been amazing all day and it had become a game for me, like a where’s Waldo thing, trying to guess where they and the obscenely large white van we got would pop up next.  The athlete tracker gizmo had been a huge help for them (though it didn’t work on the blackberry, just the laptop), since they could quickly usher everyone from the bathroom or the restaurant or wherever they were, to the side of the road for a 10 second glimpse of me.  They’d made signs too,  saying how proud they were etc.

Anyway, at some point my sister Kristina jumped into the race to get her daily workout in and keep me company.  I wasn’t much company for her as I was afraid that if I opened my mouth much something other than words would come out.   At one point she pointed out an enormous tarantula that was on a white wall, and I offhandedly commented last year I saw one in one of the portapotties.  She told me afterwards that’s when she knew I was out of it, since I was completely unfazed by a big hairy spider.  At one point our 4 kids jumped in and ran with me.  They’d been up since 4:45am, driving around the island, screaming at the tops of their lungs for the athletes, Michelle (age 10) hadn’t succumbed to her legendary carsickness though she’d spent all day with a plastic bag in front of her, they were in flip flops, it was now about 8:00pm, and they ran about 100 meters with me before deciding this was too tiring.  It was really cool, though again, I wasn’t much company. 

The run, like the bike, is 3 loops.  In some ways loops suck because it can be monotonous and because you know what to expect (i.e. when you’re at a certain spot you know you still have x amount of territory to cover – again).  And it’s certainly a slap in the face to run down part of the finish shoot and have to bear left to the “next loop” lane while the finishers sprint to the sound of cheering crowds and the glorious finish.  My family told me later how painful it was to watch the face of the competitors who had to go on for another loop, they were so crestfallen.  But I choose to focus on the positive of loops.  You see people you know and you see people repeatedly and it’s interesting to watch how their demeanor evolves between loops 1 and 3.  And the predictability of the course can be comforting and it makes it easier to set shorter goals.  Coach Janda had advised me to run from aid station to aid station (they’re spread 1 km apart).  I did that – but I also ran from certain spot (Señor Frog’s) to certain spot (where our housekeeper was standing with her children), and so on.  When it comes to huge goals, after all, the key is to chunk them down.

Somewhere around mile 19 I think I decided that my jogging wasn’t going to cut it since at this point I was most certainly going to puke.  But I refused to give in to the nausea as I was afraid of losing the calories, so I made the calculated decision to walk.  But I figured that if I race walked, at a 13 mph or so clip, I wouldn’t be compromising my time too much nor would I be “giving up.”  So that’s what I did.  I had been thrilled to see that I was heading for a 14 hour finish, which was ONE HOUR better than last year!  But I realized that I’m just not that hung up on numbers especially when it comes to Ironman.  My goal for this race had been to finish the race in one piece – not end up in the med tent and not compromise the 5 days following the race, having fun with the family in Cozumel.  So I did my race walk, passing many walkers and even runners, and the bile subsided.  But then I became aware that my feet, legs and mid-to-lower back were a bit angry that I’d subjected them to continuous movement for longer than most people stick to anything.  And I realized that if I ran, it would be less painful.  So what ensued was a race walk/jog cycle.  I’d cycle till the bile returned, then switch to the walking.

At this point I caught up with Julio, with whom I’d walked a bit but then he’d been cajoled into running by his fellow Texans who had finished about 2 hours earlier – he was now walking again.  This was to be his first Ironman.  Now we were at mile 24 and I caught up with him (I was jogging at this point) and urged him to run to the finish with me, his 2 lost toenails were irrelevant at this point.  We ran past the cheering spectators, the finish line now within earshot.  At mile 25 I told him, you are about to be an Ironman and you need your own moment of glory crossing that line – do you want to go ahead of me or shall I go ahead?  He opted to go ahead. 

We ran down that chute, I was slapping high-fives to an ecstatic crowd, I took off my glow-in-the-dark necklace and put it over the head of a startled little girl.  My family was up ahead, right before the finish line, screaming like crazy.  I heard “Susanne Navas, YOU ARE AN IRON-MAN!” and I was pumping my arms up as I saw the clock read 14:53, 7 minutes better than last year, and I crossed that finish line! 

Got my medal, and my shell necklace, huge grin on my face, I had done it again – trained for 2.5 months and finished a race that I had always thought was reserved for athletic superstars who were clearly missing a screw.  Wow, what a great feeling!!!  But the best was when my family found me and Willo especially kept giving me huge hugs and kisses, with this look of wonder in his eyes. 

I don’t do this for the Personal Record (time), or the need to prove I can do it, nor do I feel compelled to aim for a goal such as completing a certain amount of Ironmen or an Ironman on every continent or anything like that.  I was thinking about this during the race at different points, especially during the marathon when I was in my more intense miles, and was focusing on the people in my life who have made great sacrifices either to their country (Christian Kade Warriner, my good friend Sarah’s friend’s son, who died in Afghanistan a couple of weeks ago at age 19), their community (Marie Ponzillo, the many wonderful people at the YMCA), or to support my training (my amazing husband & kids, our incredible friends the Baggetts, Hunters, Gittines, Ellicott-Murphys, Booths, Cocciolas – who have all been there for this journey and helped in so many ways)… people who have struggled with major hardship due to health issues or tragedy (Tracy Phipps, John Davidson, Kate Conklin)… the ACHIEVE Tri Kids we coached this past summer, who really taught me all about believing in your coach and in yourself, and staying focused on the goal in spite of adversity…. The girls in my after school Girls Circle program who look up to me as a role model and whom I want to show that “natural born talent” isn’t necessary for most goals.  What matters is staying focused, being willing to make sacrifices and work your ass off, and having a positive attitude.

Lessons learned or reinforced:

1. bring tissue - in waterproof bag

2. put on sunscreen before swim, after swim, and during bike

3. arrive the day before registration, 2 days before tops

4. put on bug spray during T2

5. ingest salt before & during race!

6. wear glow sticks during marathon if running past 6pm

7. make your race goals about more than time (patience, focus, flexibility...)

8. if you want to show off your IM accomplishment, don't remove your participant bracelet until you get home

9. get the athlete tracker gps gadget if you brought spectators

10. never underestimate the importance of nutritional & mental preparation - this will make or break you

116 of my life rules

I’m a quote freak. I love reading quotes, and sending those I find meaningful to people I think may also get something out of them. I’ve decided to come up with my own list. The following quotes include a few that I’ve loved, as well as a bunch I came up with myself. I have drawn from life experiences, observations I’ve made, and lessons I’ve learned through my voracious reading. They span all sorts of subjects and mostly involve parenting, business, finding fulfillment, athletics, marriage, money. Some may be politically incorrect, many are probably controversial. You will agree with some, disagree with others. But just remember, don’t take anything personally (see #42 and #39 below). If you read something and say “Hey! I’m offended!” then I just urge you to examine yourself and your life in terms of that particular quote, and try to wonder objectively if there isn’t an ounce of truth in it… and if after that, you decide I don’t know what I’m talking about, that’s totally fine. Also, keep in mind that I am faaaaaaaaar from perfect myself and I have to work on many of these on a daily basis. Anyway, enjoy!

1. Hill repeats will fix a lot of problems in your run stride.  It's hard to run up hill successfully if your balance, positioning and focus are off.  Same goes for life.  When we are in an "uphill climb," such as when we are hit by health, financial, relationship, job, or really any crisis - is when we examine our posture and either make corrections or turn a half-mile hill into an endless steep climb.
2. Mentor a child. There are far too many children out there who lack a meaningful and positive relationship with an adult. It doesn't take much time and it is often the biggest difference between the child who ends up in jail and his friend who ends up in college.
3. Volunteering is one of the best ways to beat the blues and lose weight. Really - it's been proven. Note: I'm not talking about volunteering at your kid's school. I'm talking about helping with a cause that's all about YOU and your non-parent identity. Soup kitchen, local race, local political campaign, women's shelter, kids' hospital, retirement home... Whatever strikes your fancy, where you can hone those skills of yours, feel significant, and put your problems into perspective.
4. Our country's problems are not because of this or past administrations, or because of greedy CEO's, or because God isn't in school. It all boils down to one reason: lack of reverence toward life. Our life, others' lives, nature. I suppose some people would equate that with God, but all too often that argument becomes too filled with religious dogma. Therefore, I call it reverence for life. I suppose it's what's so appealing to me about Ironman. It is exhilarating to be among people who defy the odds and their negative inner critic and outer naysayers, and spend hours, days, weeks, months, years training for an accomplishment that is more than a medal, or a finish line. It's an experience where you are revering life, the wonder of it, and you are sharing it with hundreds or thousands of others who get it. Although I've yet to participate in these other "crazy" sports, I imagine the same holds true for mountaineers and ultraracers. Basically, any activity that requires extreme commitment, sacrifice, endurance, getting out of your head and into the flow. When you make this a part of your life, it's kind of hard to not let this reverence seep into other areas of your life.
5. There is no reason why your children cannot endure a short (under an hour) car ride without a DVD playing, a restaurant meal without a screen & keypad, a soccer practice without a snack (fresh fruit is acceptable). If you have low expectations for your children, that's exactly what they will give you.
6. Take supplements. In powder or liquid form. Your body only absorbs maybe 10-20% of multivitamin pills, so they're a waste of money. Women of childbearing age need extra calcium in their diets or their teeth & bones get soft (trust me - been there, done that). Take "greens" - powdered mixes of vegetables, fruit, flax seed, probiotics, etc. Mix it in a shake and you've got your daily fruit & vegetable requirements. The ones I use are from Life Force International and I (knock on wood) have spent the last 5 years, since using them, feeling better and more energetic than I did when I was 20.
7. The best thing a college student can do is study abroad. Preferably in a foreign language, but England is still acceptable. Being an ex-pat will broaden the student's horizons intellectually, culturally and socially. She may get a little behind in terms of college credits but that is a small price to pay for the unforgettable memories and friendships she will forge. And she will be much more interesting - and interested - for having done this.
8. When you pull out onto a street, or turn into a street, parking lot or driveway, ALWAYS look both ways. You never know when a cyclist, runner, skater or walker is about to cross your path.
9. If you shake your head at the sense of entitlement today's youth has, look in the mirror. Do you drive a Hummer? Eat crap? Cut off cyclists? Hog the left lane? Allow your unruly children to run around a restaurant? Blame the government for your problems? Complain about the way things are, but do nothing constructive to change them? Toss your cigarette butts wherever you see fit? Complain to your kid's teacher that her grade or disciplinary action was unfair? Let your kids get away with a minimal amount of chores? Allow your children to think that a cell phone, computer use, remote control, etc are rights and not privileges? Use plastic bags at the supermarket on a regular basis? Say you don't have time to work out/read a book/help the needy...? We don't have a youth problem, we have an adult problem (to quote my great friend & mentor, Bill Milliken).
10. Another reason to love triathlon: you are very likely to compete against world class athletes, who appear on TV, compete in the Olympics, are on the covers of magazines. If you're a golfer, you're probably not going to ever be in the same tournament as Tiger Woods. But I can swim, bike & run with the top triathletes in the world. And meet them. And get a photo with them. And host them in my home. Not because I excel at triathlon, but because that's just the way the sport is. Same as running, as anyone who's done a world class marathon like Boston or NY will tell you.
11. In everything you do.... SMILEPACE! When I race, I go as fast as I can while maintaining a smile on my face. So much in life is optional, even stress. I'm not a big fan of anything I find boring, painful or unpleasant. But it turns out that a lot of stuff we have to do falls into those categories. So when it comes to life stuff, I focus on the end result and try to find the positive. And find a way to make it fun, or at least less unpleasant. When training & racing, I keep things in perspective. If it's not fun, then I should find something else to do. After all, it's not like dialysis, which is not optional (unless of course you want to die). So I find a way to make it fun, a reason to keep smiling. Sometimes, like during the 6 hours on my bike in my basement dungeon, it's the thought that "I've lost it, this is nuts," which will elicit a cackle out of me. Usually, it's the reminder that "I woke up today in a healthy body, with a fantastic family, we lack for nothing and we live in an incredible country." We all have something for which to be thankful. Find yours - and smile.
12. Before becoming a parent, I'd see - and hear - certain kids that would make me think, "that kid could sure use a spanking!!" Now I'm a parent my views have changed. Instead, I usually think, "those parents could sure use a spanking!!"
13. We are rarely motivated by joy or pleasure to make significant changes. It is human to settle for mediocrity, to rest comfortably in the status quo, as lame and detrimental as that may be. The prospect of looking like a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model or being debt-free or happy will not motivate most of us to make some changes. Usually it takes a brush with catastrophe to get us off our asses. A heart attack, a diagnosis of pre-diabetes, a spouse's affair, a child's death, a repossessed car. Most people who received this link will not read this list, and most people who do read it will make zero changes.
14. Humans were born to run. In terms of evolution, we were designed to outrun our prey. If we are dis-eased it’s because we aren’t running (enough). (For further information, pick up Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen by Christopher McDougall).

2. You are fat/unhappy/broke [fill in the blank] because you want to be. If you say you want to be thin/happy/rich [fill in the blank] you would be disciplined and make different choices.

3. Positive thinking and self-affirmations, without plans, goals and action amount to nothing but delusion.

4. Triathlon involves five disciplines, not three. Swim, bike, run, eat and think. You can swim, bike and run till the cows come home but if you don’t learn the best way to fuel your body, and you don’t prepare yourself mentally, you will never achieve your full potential. Preparing yourself mentally includes having a plan for when things do not go according to plan, training smart by including rest and recovery, visualizing the goal while you train, and picking a meaningful reason for doing this so that when your motivation lags, you have something to haul you back on the bike (at 5:00am).

5. There is a difference between worry and preparation. Preparing means thinking ahead and having a Plan B and C. Worrying is the equivalent of praying for the worst. Being prepared takes away worry.

6. Your income will be the average of the earnings of your five closest friends (Jim Rohn).

7. Clean out the rolodex. Get rid of emotional vampires. Get over your guilt – those complaining, negative, whiny, critical drama queens will find another martyr. You deserve better.

8. Helicopter parenting is not only annoying, it’s terrible for your child’s development. Your child needs to make mistakes, get hurt, experience adversity. Do your kid – and society – a favor and let the kid build character and coping skills.

9. Eschew herd mentality and teach your kids to do likewise. Just because “everyone has/does” it (gives kids cell phones, wears Abercrombie & Fitch, plays soccer, drives a fancy car, vacations in Disney, has sex (teens), eats crap, watches crap…) doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. In fact it probably isn’t.

10. Treat people as if they are already behaving the way you want them to behave. This works on your toddler, husband and everyone in between.

11. It is never too late to do what will make you happy. Learn a new hobby, go back to school, fix/leave a relationship, move, finish an Ironman… Chronological age is irrelevant.

12. People who don’t have goals are likely to get caught up in unhealthy behavior and very likely to be depressed. We need goals in the following areas: health, relationships, career, finances, hobbies, parenting. And these must be written down and checked on daily!

13. Living a balanced life is a myth. Successful people live passionate lives and passion is not balanced. Each day the balance tips this way and that. The key is to feel that overall, you are spending time and resources on your priorities.

14. Read. Everyday. Especially on personal development. Others have already made the mistakes, found the solutions, and written about them. Read, take notes, incorporate the lessons into your own life. Here is a list of some of my favorites:

• Drive by Daniel H. Pink
• The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
• Have a Little Faith by Mitch Albom
• The Power of Intention by Wayne Dyer
• Your Kids are Your Own Fault by Larry Winget
• Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey
• From Me to We by Craig & Marc Kielburger
• A Purpose-Driven Life by Rick Warren
• Think & Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
• The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell
• The Art of Power by Thich Nhat Hahn
• The Go-Giver by Bob Burg & John David Mann
• The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
• The Answer by John Assaraf & Murray Smith
• Born to Run by Christopher McDougall
• New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
• Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher (for parents of girls)
• Real Education by Charles Murray
• Change Your Brain Change Your Life by Daniel Amen
• The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
• The Middle Place by Kelly Corrigan (chick lit)
• Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
• My First 100 Marathons by Jeffrey Horowitz
• The Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton
• A Framework for Understanding Poverty by Ruby K. Payne
• The E Myth Revisited by Michael E. Gerber
• Excuses Begone! By Wayne Dyer
• Jesus Was a Liberal by Scotty McLennan
• Deepak Choprah's books
• Success Magazine
• The Mommy Manifesto by Kim Lavine
• Devotion by Dani Shapiro
• The Last Dropout by Bill Milliken
• Clearing the Mommy Fog by Susanne Navas :)

15. Avoid energy gels, drinks or bars unless exercising over 2.5 hours (if you are currently doing so, don’t go cold turkey – wean yourself). Definitely don’t give kids energy drinks unless they are endurance athletes or unable to ingest anything else due to illness; I’m convinced our childhood obesity epidemic is at least partially to blame on this stuff.

16. Staying in a miserable marriage “for the kids’ sake” is stupid. Work on yourself and work on your marriage, with sincere effort – or split up. An unhappy parent is more damaging than a part-time parent.

17. Teach your kids to save, invest, contribute to charity and spend wisely. Do not assume your kids will learn how to manage money. And don’t assume they don’t need to know about your financial problems. It’s a great teaching moment.

18. Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness. It’s the strongest, most liberating thing you can do.

19. Never, if possible, take your ex to court. Is the money and revenge worth the stress and the negativity and the lessons it teaches your kids? Becoming happy, peaceful and successful is much better revenge.

20. Context is the basis of compassion. Instead of judging someone, put yourself in their context. It doesn’t excuse abuse, infidelity, crime, stupidity – but the world needs more compassion. Refusing to judge someone doesn't mean you condone their behavior.

21. Order of importance: 1) self 2) marriage 3) children. Too often people reverse this order, leading to depression, divorce, and/or messed-up kids.

22. Stay in the present. With 2 exceptions: financial decisions and parenting. Will your short-term fix bite you in the ass later?

23. Know that whatever you are going through, you can be sure that at least one person you know is going/has gone through the same.

24. Eat at least four servings (handfuls) of broccoli per week and you’ll avoid most cancers (provided you don’t smoke).

25. Avoid buying your kids video games. Every socially inept boy over the age of 2 I’ve ever met has daily screen time. I don’t need a study to point out the correlation.

26. NEVER allow your child to interrupt adults unless it’s a medical or other emergency.

27. Teens and the elderly have a lot in common. They don’t perceive themselves as being considered important contributors to society (and society doesn't do much to change this perception), and they are increasingly addicted to drugs (and dying from it). Reach out to them and engage them.

28. Staying in your comfort zone is bad for your health. Only through discomfort do we evolve. Take a risk every day. Surprise yourself.

29. Walt Disney had it half right. If we dream it we can do it – but only with great sacrifice and a ton of hard work (10,000 hours according to Malcolm Gladwell).

30. Leave places cleaner than you found them. Pick up trash along your run route.

31. If all you talk about with your friends/spouse is what your kids are doing, or gossip, or what happened on The Bachelorette last night, you’re boring and need to broaden your interests. On the flip side, if you work outside the home and all you talk about is work - get a hobby.

32. You do not need to be in a place of worship to experience deep spirituality. Also, some of the most godlike people I’ve met never go to church, while some of the meanest people I’ve met are “religious.”

33. NEVER talk about dieting or cosmetic surgery in front of girls. 80% of ten-year-old girls think they’re fat. While some of this is because of what they hear from their peers, more of it is because you’re watching The Today Show and complaining about your thighs while the girls are in the house.

34. Diets don’t work. Lifestyle changes do.

35. If you’re looking for a significant other, think about what your ideal mate would like to do for leisure. Then go there. Hint: if you’re looking for an enlightened go-getter, hit the local Wayne Dyer seminar instead of the sports bar happy bar.

36. PLEASE don’t send Christmas newsletters. All that paper is bad for the environment. Nobody cares what your kid, dog, or Bob the Builder husband did this year. (Note: if you can come up with a summary of the embarrassing things your kids said about you at school, that would probably be well-received).

37. It’s “triathlon” not “triathalon” and “definitely” not “definately”.

38. If you do nothing else, teach your kids (or make sure someone teaches them) great manners, to read, swim, handle money, do what they love, be compassionate, eat healthy, love exercise, and converse with anyone.

39. Dig that chip out of your shoulder. We have become so overly sensitive that people who are only trying to help (politicians, school administrators, anyone with a brain and an activist’s heart) spend more time and energy tempering their message and apologizing or explaining why they won’t apologize, than working on their original mission.

40. Your kids have their own crib/bed for a reason. No matter what Dr. Sears and other Helicopter Parents tell you, just remember this: your short-term decision can (will) impact the long-term situation. Your child nees to learn to fall asleep on his own and you need a sacred, kid-free zone. Of course, if you enjoy having a kid or two wedged between you and your spouse every night, this should tell you something about your marriage…

41. If you’re divorced, this does not give you license to spoil your kids by showering them with gifts, keeping them up past their bedtime, allowing them to rule the coop and trod all over reasonable boundaries. Do your kids – and society – a favor and take your burden of guilt to the confessional booth.

42. Don’t take things personally. What I (or anyone) say and do reflects my experiences up to now. If I say “homeschooling may be great academically but provides children with too homogenous a social environment” this is not a personal attack on your worth as a parent. It just means I don’t believe it’s a good idea from what I’ve seen.

43. Friends are crucial to our wellbeing, and unlike family, can be selected. So nurture your friendships.

44. Do not count on a significant other as a source of happiness. You must first be happy with yourself. A significant other is merely icing on the cake.

45. Do not watch the news. Starting the day with the morning news and/or ending it with the evening news will do nothing for your intellect and will only make you grumpy.

46. You are more negative than you think. Don’t believe me? Write down every thought for one day. I guarantee you about half will be neutral (e.g. today is Tuesday), about 40% will be negative (e.g. I’m going to be late, I can’t believe how crowded the pool is, it’s raining again??!, how will I ever get through this to do list…) and maybe 10% will be positive (e.g. oh good, it's late enough to crack a beer).

47. If you are exercising and not losing weight (if this is your goal), then you are overestimating your calorie burn and underestimating your caloric intake.

48. If you want to get in shape and don’t know what exercise to take up, look around. If you like runners’ bodies, run. If you admire dancers’ bodies, dance. If you envy aquasizers’ bodies… you get the drift.

49. Do not medicate your ADHD child. First try this: unplug him. Remove all TV, video, Nintendo, wii, cell phone, computer. Throw out all candy, refined, highly processed foods. Enforce early bedtime and outside play. Do this for three months. If there is zero improvement, then, and only then, consider drugs.

50. Use a netipot. It is more effective than cold or allergy medication, has no side effects, and it’s cheap. Use it preventively during cold, flu & allergy seasons, and use it once you start to feel congested.

51. Before allowing your child to play football, read Dr. Amen’s book “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life.”

52. Cheerleading is athletic, and a staple of American culture. That does not mean it’s good for your daughter’s dignity, body image and self-esteem.

53. Just because a food is labeled “whole grain” “natural” “low fat” “low sugar” “organic” “healthy” – does not mean it’s good for you or low calorie.

54. Raising more than one child is the hardest thing you’ll ever do. Everyone tells you how wonderful kids are. But nobody tells you how frustrating and annoying it is. People who say it’s easy are either shitty parents, on the Mommy Pill, have a nanny or have older kids and poor long-term memory.

55. Triathlon is the perfect family sport. The entire family can train and compete together. Races will make you travel to places you wouldn’t have seen otherwise. Grandparents can compete alongside grandkids.

56. Some people say you should live together before marriage. I’d add you should travel together. When you’re outside your comfort zone and need to cope with new challenges, is when you really see a person’s character.

57. You can’t change a lot of situations life throws your way. But you can change how you look at them. Funny thing is when you change your attitude toward it, the situation usually changes.

58. You can’t change a person. No matter what your pastor tells you – preaching about Jesus, homeschooling, breastfeeding, healthy eating, etc. will be counter-productive. It’s best to exude joy and peace. People will wonder what your secret is, and come to you. No one likes militant preaching.

59. The more keys on your key ring, the more headaches (lesson attributed to my dad, the awesome John Hobson).

60. The 40-44 female age group is the most competitive for women in triathlon. I believe this is because when women turn 40, they finally decide to make their health and happiness a priority. And their kids are in school full-time.

61. I’d rather ask for forgiveness than permission.

62. It is now scientifically proven, through quantum physics, that we are not dictated by our biology. Our PERCEPTION overrules our DNA. And this applies to parenting. If we treat our kids differently because they are sick, handicapped or otherwise “special” – we are adding to their negative self-perception. (See The Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton and Think & Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill).

63. If you smoke one pack of cigarettes a day, at $11/day (the price in NY starting in September 2010), you will spend $4,015/year on your habit.

64. Support your local business people every chance you get.

65. Pretend you’re on a reality show. Would you want national TV audiences to see you behaving that way? Think about this when you’re about to indulge in a pint, a rant or someone else's pants.

66. Vision boards work. Post self-affirmations and pictures of what you want to accomplish and/or accumulate onto a cork board and place it in a prominent place. Every time you get the chance to act toward these goals, do it. You’ll see how stuff starts happening…it's not voodoo, it's focus.

67. Before posting something on Facebook, Twitter, My Space, etc., ask yourself: if my significant other, employer, prospective employer, father, student, teacher, constituent, priest, daughter, etc. sees this, will I regret it?

68. The class of 2020 will face a very different job market from the one we see today, in terms of career options and requirements. Spanish will be the dominant “foreign” language, critical and analytical thinking will be required, and one of the hottest careers will be Tattoo & Piercing Removal (notably of those disgusting huge holes in ear lobes).

69. Every mom needs a periodic girls weekend.

70. When a couple has a baby, the mom’s life is forever altered. In general, dad’s body is still his, dad’s identity is still tied to his job, his social circle is pretty intact. Mom’s identity, work and social circle become unrecognizable unless she makes a concerted effort otherwise. A good man puts Monday Night Football and his golf game on hold. A great man kicks his wife out of the house once a week and does the laundry.

71. Do you really expect your kid to ignore peer pressure when you get a boob job, wear crocs, allow co-ed sleepovers for your high schooler, scramble to get the latest fad? Peer pressure isn’t as much overt insistence, it’s usually the subtle suggestion that “doing this” or “having this” makes you cool. Kids base their values on their parents’ values – and actions speak far louder than words.

72. NEVER tell a girl she looks or is fat.

73. There is no such thing as a bad kid or dog. Just a bad parent or master.

74. If you want a dog, adopt a rescue dog. And only get a dog if tossing fistfuls of $50 bills down the toilet doesn’t give you a heart attack.

75. Wear a helmet, a seat belt, and sunscreen.

76. Don’t let your daughter date a biker who doesn’t wear a helmet. Chances are the moron doesn’t protect his other head either.

77. If you love a book, email the author. She’ll be flattered and you may start a new, meaningful relationship (this is how I came to be mentored by one of the kindest, smartest, most wonderful men I’ve ever met).

78. Don’t waste your breath trying to convince someone about issues such as abortion rights, gay marriage, immigration rights, etc. Basically anything political or religious. You will not change their minds and you will end up annoyed. The only way people change their minds short of a lobotomy is through a major life experience.

79. “stressed” is “dessert” spelled backwards

80. 95% of illness and disease can be attributed to stress. Get rid of it.

81. You can find a study to back you up no matter what your position is.

82. Never put a TV or computer with internet access in your child’s room.

83. We all need to work harder on seeing the Big Picture. We are so focused on our immediate surroundings and instant gratification, that as parents, politicians, leaders, medical professionals, etc, we often end up solving one problem and causing three new ones.

84. Humans are social creatures. Even those of us who consider ourselves to be loners, crave the sense of belonging and unity that comes with identifying with a group. This is why kids join gangs, fraternities, teams. Why adults are more successful at kicking bad habits through AA and weight loss groups, and sticking to good habits with a triathlon or running group.

85. It is much more effective to pull people toward a positive endeavor or belief, than to fight a negative one. It’s why the war on drugs is ineffective. “Just say no” to drugs rings hollow if you don’t provide a fun, healthy alternative and draw people to it. Focusing on the negative puts energy into it.

86. If you are a jealous, possessive significant other, it’s just a matter of time before you lose your partner. Back off, work on making yourself someone your partner finds irresistible and your worst fears are far less likely to come true.

87. Never pass up the chance to take your kids on a trip, even if it means missing school. The world provides more valuable lessons than anything on a blackboard (or Smart Board).

88. Every high schooler should consult with a life and career coach, saving a fortune otherwise wasted on focusing on the wrong career or major.

89. If your daughter is seeing someone, and starts to spend much more time in her room, or dresses differently, starts doing her hair and makeup differently, her appetite changes, her friends change or disappear – chances are very good that she is being abused. Depending on the study you read, between 20-50% of teen girls are abused. Talk to her. Even if she’s not being abused, she’s not happy, and she’s dying (perhaps literally) to talk to someone!

90. Music has the power to calm a screaming baby or a ranting mom, unite foreigners who share no other common language, motivate a runner, make people happier, sadder, richer, smarter, dumber. Music is food for the soul. Make sure you enjoy a healthy tune diet.

91. If you’re going to put your baby on her back to sleep, be aware that she’s at great risk of developing a flat head. Figure out how to avoid this!

92. Give your baby at least ten minutes of tummy time per day so she develops upper body strength.

93. If your newborn is colicky, take him to the chiropractor. Babies’ spines can suffer trauma in utero and during birth, and sometimes a few adjustments will do the trick. They’re never too young for chiropractic treatment (of course, like with all practitioners, find a good one).

94. Women in general are the world’s most under-utilized, under-appreciated natural resource. If we spent less energy feeding our petty insecurities and more energy applying our limitless intelligence and resourcefulness toward helping less fortunate mothers and children, we could quickly solve many of the world’s greatest problems.

95. Nobody is too young, poor, old, busy, dumb, sick or untalented to change the world.

96. The rich spend 10% on self-improvement, and that is one way they got rich. Books, further education, coaches, seminars, etc. The richer they get, the harder it is to do this. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but suppressing your own curiosity will surely kill your chances of reaching your true potential.

97. Changing your mind is not just a woman’s prerogative, neither is it a sign of fickleness and indecisiveness. When we become more educated and experienced, changing our position is a natural consequence.

98. DO sweat the small stuff. But that doesn’t mean, stress over petty stuff you won’t remember two weeks, months or years from now. It means, every little thing adds up. Every habit – good and bad – started with one small positive step – or excuse.

99. I’m always suspicious of a perpetually immaculate household. It’s usually the sign of an unhealthy woman and/or marriage, unless there’s a regular housekeeper. (And if you drop into my home unexpectedly, I will remind you of this when your eyes wander to my pile of laundry).

100. Employees and students require three things in order to thrive: 1) autonomy – the feeling they have decision-making power and some element of control; 2) mastery – the sense that they are improving, mastering a challenge; 3) purpose – what they are doing or learning is meaningful and relevant. (See Drive by Daniel H. Pink). If your child is unmotivated at school, or you are unhappy at work - chances are at least one of these is missing.

101. When your kid tells you he wants to be a painter, dancer or writer when he grows up, never tell him to pursue something more “sensible” or lucrative. If he fans his inner spark by following his passion, ignores naysayers and works his ass off, he’ll succeed. And waste less of your money and his money on med school, rehab and divorce lawyers.

102. Most women do not (if they are to be honest with themselves) find true fulfillment in the daily tedium of caring full-time for babies and household, years on end. Much post-partum depression would be cured with part-time work (paid or volunteer), help with household chores, and a daily workout as soon as the post-partum body says it’s ok. Waiting six weeks to go for a walk is nonsense if you feel up to it; and a doctor who tells you to do so is probably getting kick-backs from the antidepressant drug manufacturer.

103. Traditional doctors are myopic and enslaved to insurance and drug companies. They are trained to find problems, not to prevent them in the first place. Avoid them by being proactive about your family’s health, and practicing prevention. (Note: obviously there are some great doctors out there, this is a general statement).

In sum…

Live with intention.

Walk to the edge.

Listen hard.

Practice wellness.

Play with abandon.

Laugh.

Choose with no regret.

Continue to learn.

Appreciate your friends.

Do what you love.

Love as if this is all there is.

- Mary Anne Radmacher